My eyes are heavy
I cannot blink
My neck is struggling to support my cement head
Surely my blood is tar…
I wonder how my heart can move it
I can hear it in my ears
Although I feel no current in my body
And I barely notice the rise and fall of breath
Every piece of me is lead
My thoughts have actual mass
They take up space
They fill the room
I stare at the hand that I cannot lift
To wipe my tears
Which are etching
Canyons into my cheeks
They are silent tears
My voice is missing
I ate all my colors in fruit form
Hoping they would color my gray from the inside out
I sipped coffee from Papa’s cup
It did not thin my blood
I thought streaming hot water would help
I propped myself against the tile and let it pour over the rock formations that are my shoulders
I dressed my body in colors and flowers
And brushed Pink-Grapefruit onto my cheeks
Lips painted with Finish-Line
Shoes zipped
I’m melting in the sun
Standing under the BUS STOP sign
Waiting for the breezes that swirl my dress
Imagining I’m as light as this fabric
And not cement and tar and rock
James Taylor will sing to me tonight
Maybe I can borrow his voice
His words
I brought a handkerchief
I will paint it in Pink Grapefruit
Maybe I’ll become my dress
Light and moving and colorful
